Helping Kids Move

(The following is taken from the book, After the Boxes are Unpacked)


Transitioning More Smoothly
-Don't play down the importance of the changes your kids are going through
-Telling them everything will work out isn't necessarily the best approach
-Encourage them to express their fears and concerns.
-Ask your teenagers to tell you how they are feeling
-Listen and let them to do the talking
-Don't feel you have to justify or defend the move, shoulder the blame, or solve their problems
-Be available to talk, listen, and provide support
-Introduce change in stages
-If your child lashes out in anger, acknowledge his or her feelings
-Explain that they are reacting normally to loss
-Don't deny your child's feelings, that intensifies their sense of isolation
-Remember, it's normal for them to experience some temporary regression in behavior.  They may even have a slight drop in grades

Transitioning Academically and Socially
-Be patient.  It's not fun to feel like an outsider, but eventually you will find your niche.  Don't be so eager to make new friends that you join up with the people who don't have the same values.
-Be friendly.  Don't wait for others to approach you.  Compliment someone on what he or she is wearing.
-Ask a classmate a question about a test or homework.
-Ask if you can sit with someone during lunch
-Join in.  Sign up for sports, drama, music or whatever interests you.
-Don't belittle activities at your new school, even if they aren't cool by your old school's standards.
-Don't brag. If your old school or old town was better than your new one, don't constantly compare.  No one wants to hear that what they are or have is 2nd best
-Expect some differences between this school and the one where you used to attend.  If your class is covering a subject you haven't learned or if the class is ahead of where you were at your old school, don't bluff it.  Ask for help.

REMIND your children...
Moving usually turns into a positive experience.  They will meet new people, see new places, and make new friends.  They will be learning new things about themselves and discovering strengths they never knew they had.

Providing Roots in Christ for your Children
1.  Principles of faith.  Base your values on the word of God (Col 2:6-7)
2.  Pattern of Life.  Strive to live a life worthy of imitation that model's God's design.  (Eph 5:1-2)
3.  Persistence that is immovable.  Don't give up.  Don't let anything move you from what you believe.  Be strong in your faith (Eph 6:10, 14)
4.  Participation.  Feel what your children feel.  Laugh when they laugh.  Cry when they cry.  Learn with them (Rom 12:15)
5.  Praise.  Encourage them. Believe in them. Sing to them when they are small and sing with them when they are grown. (Phil 4:4-5)
6.  Prayer.  Let them see you pray, hear you pray, and watch you give God praise for the results. (Phil 4:6)
7.  Planning.  It's never too late.  Plan on giving them roots and wings. (Isa 40:31, Deut 32:11)

"What your children become in the future will reflect how you shape them, nurture them, and disciple them today." (from the book, The Stay at Home Mom)

20 Ways to Help Your Children Adjust After a Move
1.  Put a big bow on the front door for each child.  Let them cut it, take a picture for the scrap book.
2.  Type your new address/phone # on pieces of paper for you and your children to pass out to new friends
3.  Have a family party with cookies, punch, and talking
4.  Don't skip breakfast.  It gives them energy for the day.
5.  Plant seeds or flowers in the yard.  Tell your children you all have to root and grow in new soil
6.  Encourage them to invite kids home after school
7.  Establish routine as quickly as possible
8.  Don't do away with old toys/possessions.  They may give your child a feeling of continuity.
9.  Let your child take part in decorating his/her own room.
10.  Begin new traditions in this new house.
11.  Listen, listen, listen.  Don't teach or preach.  Give them lots of hugs.
12.  Let them mourn their losses in the new move.
13.  Get them involved in a good youth program at church.
14.  Write "I love you" or "have a great day" on their napkin in their lunch
15.  Allow each child a five minute long distance call back to a friend in their old town
16.  Give them lots of reassurance.
17.  Pray for them everyday
18.  Tuck them in at bedtime
19.  Give them roots in Christ, family, and home
20.  Give them wings of freedom to move forward in their journey of life.